As a child before her father
I am coming to you once again
My heart filled with sadness and loneliness
You promised to take care of me
You gave me what I wanted
But I was wrong, this isn´t what I wanted
I don´t want this sky dive thrill
The plane keeps climbing in the air
I am too scared to keep going
I want to go home
To sit with you
cuddled on the couch
next to the warm fire place
I don´t want to jump
But you take my hand and say
"Daughter your time at home is not now.
This is your time to jump"
I feel the tears well up in my eyes
And a knot deep in my throat
stops the words that would never come
I feel so alone, almost betrayed
And that is when he does it
That is when he takes my hand
and lifts my chin till my eyes meet his
Reading my thoughts, my brokeness he smiles sadly
"My love, I will ask you to jump,
But I will never ask you to jump alone."
He steps behind me and connects our suits
I can feel him breathe in and out
I can feel his strength
He kisses the back of my head and
We walk toward the opening
the door to the outside world
The tears come again
rolling down my cheeks
But not tears of fear
These are good tears
They are tears of helplessness
And as we jump,
I know deep in my heart that it is good
to be helpless
(I wrote this today as sat on my bed and thought about all the emotions from yesterday still raw in my heart. I am not sure why it is skydiving since I have actually gone skydiving and it wasn´t scary at all- but then again maybe that is becuase I was strapped to a 6´2 Brazilian guy. Skydiving just seemed like the most appropriate metaphor for this trip.)
I am coming to you once again
My heart filled with sadness and loneliness
You promised to take care of me
You gave me what I wanted
But I was wrong, this isn´t what I wanted
I don´t want this sky dive thrill
The plane keeps climbing in the air
I am too scared to keep going
I want to go home
To sit with you
cuddled on the couch
next to the warm fire place
I don´t want to jump
But you take my hand and say
"Daughter your time at home is not now.
This is your time to jump"
I feel the tears well up in my eyes
And a knot deep in my throat
stops the words that would never come
I feel so alone, almost betrayed
And that is when he does it
That is when he takes my hand
and lifts my chin till my eyes meet his
Reading my thoughts, my brokeness he smiles sadly
"My love, I will ask you to jump,
But I will never ask you to jump alone."
He steps behind me and connects our suits
I can feel him breathe in and out
I can feel his strength
He kisses the back of my head and
We walk toward the opening
the door to the outside world
The tears come again
rolling down my cheeks
But not tears of fear
These are good tears
They are tears of helplessness
And as we jump,
I know deep in my heart that it is good
to be helpless
(I wrote this today as sat on my bed and thought about all the emotions from yesterday still raw in my heart. I am not sure why it is skydiving since I have actually gone skydiving and it wasn´t scary at all- but then again maybe that is becuase I was strapped to a 6´2 Brazilian guy. Skydiving just seemed like the most appropriate metaphor for this trip.)
Comments