Tuesday, October 25, 2005

a lesson learned

This whole situation with Paulo is bothering me and I am trying to figure out what the problem is. I think the problem is partially a cultural one. Here in Chile, everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend. it is just a part of life. And so the commitment level is not very high. Back home, when you dated someone, you were making some what of a commitment. If you had a boyfriend or girlfriend, you were in a sense saying that a part of you life was claimed. You couldn´t just go out and flirt with other people. But here, it is different. People just have a girlfriend or boyfriend. There doesn´t weem to be the commitment level that I am used to seeing in relationships. All of this is really wierd to me, but it is a good lesson. Never just assume that someone is not taken. Marion was saying that a guy at her work who had been really nice and pretty flirty with her just told her that he has four kids, from three different women! She was shocked. He had never thought to ask this young guy if he had children. Just as I never thought to ask Paulo if he had a girlfriend, since all the clues pointed to no.
You know, I am sorry boys but as much as I really want one of you guys, there are some of you who are just bad guys. And those few bad ones seem to steal the show most of the time and many of my experiences with guys leave me with a bad taste in my mouth (NOT literally!) I do wish i had someone though. i had the thought the other night as I was walking toward my room, "I really don´t want to go in. I know I going to an empty room. There is no one there for me. I am so completely alone." It was a sad moment, but depressing. I just realized how much I want to spend this time with someone I love. And instead it is just me. And I know I am young and there is still plenty of time for all that... I know... but still...

No comments: