Time to get personal again. Here is my heart, on a platter, with small garnishes around it...
This is something I wrote in my journal yesterday as I sat watching small boats float down the canal...
( I am not a poet, so please don't judge this as poetry, but it is something I wanted to share on this blog which has been a chronicler of my heart's whims)
For love is not meant to be lived by one, but two
Who together find each other as one
These two wholes become halves
and leave the other wanting
But alas, one cannot live love alone.
There is no half, nor whole, but none
This truth, though seemingly dark,
has shed some light on my situation
I am not half for there is no other
to make me miss that other part
I have not lived love, not yet anyways.
So I am left with this dark truth that brings forth light.
I have not lived love,
but I have looked upon it.
I have looked upon love
It beckoned me to enter
But the key to its joy requires two hearts
And my heart stood alone
What sorrow has God served me
beckoning, challenging, begging,
Love would not leave me
but stuck its claws in my tender soul
I looked upon love
and implored him to let me go
Let me return to my peace
But my pleas were returned with silence
No hope given
How long will love hold me in his strong grasp?
Please oh Please, my rosy captor
Let me go
The joyful days of old are calling me back
I must leave you for you can offer nothing
but death for the single heart
Someday I may return with another
I may find that other heart
The two of us will create a key
To enter your bliss
Until then, I bid you adieu, farewell, adieu
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
By the way, my trip is going great so far. Danielle and I met up in London and travelled through Portugal, Spain, and Italy. Now I am with my mom and family in Amsterdam. Saturday I will meet up with Danielle again in Belfast where we will visit Sam, and then we'll spend a week in England. Jolly good times!
I have heard that some more sadness is going on with my beloved school. I read some emails with some distressing news yesterday and found myself wiping away the tears that had silently fallen. There is nothing I can say here (some students evidently are getting in trouble for what they write on their blogs and I don't want to risk anything). but I will say this: the division this is causing is too much for my heart to bear. It pains me beyond words to see Christian brothers in such a situation. I love Westminster, the history of it, the people there, the culture of learning and believing that I have experienced there. but this situation is tearing all of those beloved qualities apart. No longer is Westminster a place of joy and learning for me, but of sadness. Please pray for my school, for the students, for the faculty, for the administration, and for the board. May we be charitable to each other and true to the Gospel that has saved us.