Monday, August 25, 2008

Continuing the Anglican Theme

One of my favorite pastors to stalk (yes, stalking pastors is a pastime of mine) is Justin Moffat of Christ Church in NYC. He's from Sydney and moved to NYC to plant Christ Church with Redeemer. Awesome- a PCA planted Anglican church in Manhattan. I started stalking him when I was in Chile and had a chance to meet him last year. It turns out that I know quite a few people who go to Christ Church. Anyways, while I have taken a bit of a vacation from my stalker responsibilities, I still like to check Justin's blog every once in a while to see how the Aussie is doing in the Big Apple.

Follow this link to read a great blog on the Anglican Church.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

GAFCON video

For those of you who haven't heard, there was an Anglican Conference in Israel this summer ("GAFCON" -not sure what it stands for, but I'm sure one of the nerds who reads this blog- you know who you are- could answer that in the comment section) Anyways, Bishops from all over the world gathered to discuss the Anglican Communion and the movement of the church. Really exciting stuff. This video was passed along to me by Ben Moore who was there in Israel and helped with the conference. Check it out if you have a chance (I do need to add the disclaimer that this video will probably only appeal to those who have at least an ounce of nerdiness in them).

easy in love

I find myself seated at Starbucks again, listening to some Jason Mraz. I associate him with Cal Poly. I'm not sure why really. I think he came to CP before he was really famous. Or maybe it's that his music is so laid back like San Luis Obispo. Who knows.
One of his songs, I'm yours, is the ultimate Cal Poly song. It makes love sound so easy, so care free and light. I know that it isn't. Or at least my experience has taught me that it isn't. It is painful, hard, and requires more of us than Hollywood lets on. But I remember all the couples in college who seemed to just float into relationships. They met, fell in love, married and moved into little one bedroom apartments. It all looked so easy from the outside. Was it really? Mraz's song reminds me of that ease, just floating into the relationship, being utterly in love and leaving us single girls somewhere between despair and hope.
Now, half a decade later, I look back and realize how much of perception has changed. I now view relationships as challenges. They may be worth it, but they are challenges none the less. I can't imagine being in a relationship, but still find myself wanting nothing less than to be a wife to a godly man. Maybe some day... maybe not. Odd to be old enough to look back on these thoughts and see the progression through emotions. Is this what aging is all about?

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Back from Iowa

I've been back for a few days now but thought I could give a quick update on how Iowa went. I had a great time working with the team and found myself counting the blessings God poured out on us each day. Some examples of these unexpected blessings are:
- a woman from another team let me take her boots to use for the week. I had been given men's boots size 13 and soon realized that it would be nearly impossible to get the work done in them. A woman whose team was leaving as my team was arriving gave me her boots which fit perfectly. Praise God!
- I got to spend some quality time with Tom Tomer, one of the leaders in my church, as we did laundry and other errands for the rest of the team. It was so cool to get to hear about his family and see how God was using such a godly man. Praise God!
- I didn't get hurt at all on the job and in fact had more energy than I had expected to have throughout the day. Praise God!
- I didn't bring a blow up mattress but realized that we were sleeping on concrete and my sleeping bag wouldn't be enough. The church we were staying at had some extra mattesses and I was able to have one for the whole week. Praise God!
- I didn't get a single asthma attack the whole week (never once pulled out my inhaler!) even though I was working in a small enclosed space that had mold growing all over it. Praise God!
- The weather was amazing. Just awesome. It wasn't as hot as the week before, and rarely rained while we worked. Praise God!
- When I felt sad and disheartened from lack of physical affection (surprisingly didn't get a ton of physically affection from the 14 year old boys nor the 49 year old men!) , some of the women from another church took me in their arms and hugged me. Arms of God, I swear. Praise God!

So those are just some examples of how God poured forth blessings this past week. He is good, isn't He?
And during the week I was struck by how much I really liked doing what we were doing. I mean, constructions (or really, deconstruction) isn't my thing normally, but I really wanted to stay a second week. I like the organizational part of the show too. I know I have more lives that I want to live than can possibly be lived by one person, but I was thinking about how much I would like to work for a relief organization. That would be cool. We'll see. For now, I am trying to patient and wait at least until I'm closer to graduation before I run off.

a poem

clinging to it with all the despair of a
widow who sees her dead husbands reflection in the mirror,
wanting more than anything to bring
it close to my chest where I can guard it with all diligence,
and knowing that the very hope I cling to
is actually a knife ready to sink into my heart,
killing the life that beats within me.
there is no hope in this dream, it is nothing more than a hallucination of happier days

Sunday, August 17, 2008

I see you there
Adrift on the air
floating by the open widow
oh, the sentiment of love
reflections that speak of
what can enter
when out hearts are open
Here witnesses appear and recognize
how sacred love can be when stated
shared shown for all to see
the beauty that can be
when love is cultivated

Out love is a sacred thing
like the mysteries of the night
in the darkness unwavering
and still so strong come the light
Our love in an infinite thing
Like the suns last ray on the sea
as it sets low in the west
and the moon rises

-Sarah Harmer
Open Window (The Wedding Song)

Thursday, August 07, 2008

jm, i'm waiting for my grade. :)

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

yo quisiera, dreaming of what isn't

One of my favorite songs from my life in Chile. It's about a guy who is best friends with a girl and who wants nothing more than to be her everything, but she seems blind to his desire for more. Anyways, I have been listening to some of my old school favorites (Reik, Orishas, RBD) and missing that country I called mi pais for so long. Will I end up back there? Who knows. I miss the warmth of the people, the men who unashamedly make professions of love to the women they desire, the kids who think its normal to spend time with their abuelos.

The curse of being young, time moves so slowly and we are captive to the years that hold us still. This week I have nothing and everything to do and all I can think of is how much I miss my busy life. I love having a million and one things to do. I hate sitting at home. My first few months in Chile were filled with nothingness. How did I survive?

I feel so useless here. I know there is a purpose in this time alone. And I am not talking about being single (although it does easy apply). I am alone here in the sense that those friends who truly know me, who "get" me, who push me forward in life, aren't around.

I miss my coffee dates with Chubs, curled up on couches drinking lattes. I miss coming home to Ashlee and cooking dinner together while dancing to Ciara. And how could I not miss Rachel and Carlos and Tahoe Joe's happy hour? Danielle and I stuffing our faces with the free bread and jam at the hostels so we wouldnt have to buy lunch. My best friends, they seem like pieces of my heart that are missing here at Westminster.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

back to the good ol' times and moving onto Iowa

So last week was rough to say the least, but I can feel my life moving forward. It's almost as if summer is dragging my heart through the horrible humidity and toward the fall where the cool breeze will calm me down. Something like that.

Anyways, life is moving on. I'm not doing much and yet my days are over too quickly and I find myself scrambling for time to do the things I have to do. I know that things will be easier once school starts and I have a full schedule each day. There is something satisfying about falling into bed after a full day of activities. I know life isn't about getting things accomplished, but it feels good to look back and know that the day was used well.

All of that said, August will be much busier than July. For starters, I will be going to Iowa for a week. My church is sending a group of 10 of us to Iowa to help with the relief work going on there. We will be going from the 9th to the 15th and we'll be tearing down the moldy walls in the homes that have been submerged in water for the last month. Please pray for us as we prepare to go out there. Please pray for my health (especially my asthma)- that the Lord would keep me healthy and safe before and during the trip. It will be a blessing to serve.

Like I said, the summer is moving on, and so am I.