Wednesday, February 14, 2007

it's all finalizing

I bought my ticket yesterday. I will leave Santiago at 7:30am and arrive in San Francisco at 11:30pm. There was minor drama involved with the buying of the ticket. I had done a ton of research (I always feel like Ashlee's dad when I do that, he's known for his awesome internet research skills!) and found that the two airlines known for flying in and out of Chile, were offering my ticket for $2500! ONE WAY!!! But thank You Lord, I found another airline that offered the ticket for only $800. But then it turned out that they don't accept credit cards online. So I found a reservation office and ran on over. As I walked away with my ticket (well, an e-ticket) in my hand, it really started to hit me: I'm leaving Chile. I let the tears roll down my cheeks as I walked home. I made dinner for my friend Veronica (curry, YUM!) and we sat in my apartment for a few hours talking about our futures. She is Chilena but married to a guy from Wisconsin. They too will probably be moving back to the States soon. After she left, I sat in my room, watching my chilean soap opera that I watch each night, and I sorted through my things. Piles of things to give away, things to throw away, and things to take with me. The heart breaking part was going through my books. It was too much! I went through this two years ago when I left for Chile, getting rid of so many of my possessions. In some way, I know it's good because I don't want to be tied to my things. I want to be really truly free for the Lord to use me.
I walked to work this morning, or at least part of the way. And as I walked through these streets that I love, I cried. I'm no longer crying tears of desperation, but just sadness. I know that I walking where God wants me to. I prayed Proverbs 3:5-6 that God would make my path straight, and He has. And now I just walk. And I WANT to go to Israel and see what God has for me there. It has been a lifelong dream in fact. But just as I left Cal Poly filled with sadness and yet grateful that God had given me such an awesome experience to be sad about, I now give thanks to the Lord for this past year and a half.

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