Thursday, October 30, 2008

for all my peers

Question:
(and please DO leave your answer in the comments section. I have a site reader and know who is reading my blog, so DO respond)

Do you think your real life relationships are changed/altered/dimished/helped/hurt by your online relationships (your facebook/blogging/skype/gchat relationships). Many relationships will have both real life and online components, but my question is if and how the online component is affecting the real life component.

9 comments:

fireescape said...

I don't think my online "life" is hurting my "real life" relationships. That's probably because most of my closest relationships are with people who live far from me, and I'm NOT a telephone person (something you are familiar with :-)). So if I can't see them face to face, at least I can send them emails and see pictures of what's going on in their lives. It's made things better for me, but I can also see how it could negatively affect relationships for a lot of peeps. I love you and I DID get your voicemail, just too late to call back...you're message made me smile and we should definitely connect via phone later tonight perhaps? I have yoga til 7, and am done after that. besitos!!!

fireescape said...

and for some reason I got my you're and your mixed up...leave it to me to make things MORE complicated then necessary. sheesh. ;-)

Anonymous said...

I'm against online relationships. Our youth have no concept of how to relate to each other without the help of programs like facebook and myspace. Kids spend more time "chatting" than actually interacting face to face. Our society is going to have serious problems in the future for the lack of social skills of the next generation.

Kallie said...

I think if you're using online interaction as a substitute for the real thing then there is definitely a problem, but I don't personally feel that my real life relationships are hindered by my use of email, gchat, facebook, etc. I love that a number of my friends will respond to an email thread we start in the morning that may last the day or weeks. Like fireescape, I have a lot of close relationships with people far away, so the online component acts as a catalyst for communication rather than diminishing depth or frequency of communication. Whoever anonymously posted, I have to disagree with you about online communication diminishing social skill development. I'd be more concerned that my time online is getting in the way of getting work done and being productive than being social! I guess it's all a matter of the who, how, and why's of online communication. I mostly talk to people I know, so I'm thereby increasing social time with the people I love the most. But that said, my boyfriend and my mom both have a lot of "digifriends" as I like to call them, that they have never met, but regularly discuss special interests with via digital medium. I think it can be a great communication alternative for us non-phone people, and while there is definitely a component lost with the 80 some odd percent of our communication being nonverbal that doesn't really show up with the phone either. I think the key is not using the internet as a replacement; when used as an enhancement rather than an alternative to face to face contact I'm all for it. Most will tell you I'm among the most social beings they know and can strike up a conversation with just about anybody, so I don't think I've suffered too much as a result! (and as you can see I'm a little wordy...)

slu said...

In general, I prioritize interaction in the following order: in person, handwritten letters, on the phone, email, Skype, IMs of any form, Facebook (which has its own hierarchy) and clones. For personal notes, I consider email to be just a really fast letter. Anything maintained by email and above, to me, is sufficient to be a "real" relationship. I consider any relationship which falls apart/disappears without IM (and below) to be not a real relationship. That is to say, a relationship that is sustained solely by IM without corroborating interactions (particularly in person) will at some point most likely cease to have personal impact or meaning.

Can you really tell who subscribes to your RSS feed, or is it some other means of tracking?

ali said...

Hey Beck - not gonna write as much as usual, bc I'm dead tired (but I know you know I saw the question, so I'll give you something to work with.. oh and btw love the new do)

I agree with this'fireescape' person, whoever he/she may be ;) WINK, that when you are are close to people who are far away, facebook, email, and gchat are very helpful in keeping you connected, no matter the distance .. Like, the internet has allowed me to know that you have a new do and that friend of ours, rachel rath-cast has taken up wedding photography ..

I think phonecalls can be more intimate in a way, but also, I can organize my thoughts better in letters (emails) -

ALSO, even for friends who are nearby, as you know (yes you becka!!) when you have a tight schedule, the internet helps you to squeeze in convos when you might otherwise not be able to .. (i.e., when I sneak in a gchat with you when I am 'working')

I think it is important to not let an internet relationship be a substitute for the real thing, but when you can't physically be with someone, and when you aren't a phone person, I don't think the internet hurts .. and dammit i love looking at people's pictures!!

XOXOXOXOXOXO!

beckalippy said...

This is great. THanks for your comments!
Rachel, I think you make a good point about long distance relationships and the necessity for digital communication.
Kallie, NO ONE will EVER doubt your social skills! :)
and slu, I love your prioritization... very korean of you! I have a site meter where I can see the location of whoever reads my blog. It obviously doesn't give me names, but locations are oftentimes good enough.
Anonymous... hmmm....

beckalippy said...

Ali, you can stalk me online anytime!

Carleigh said...

becka roo -
yes, I do think "real" relationships are injured, in a way, by online relationships. My reasoning is basic my fellow speech communicator! Miscommunication. The evil of all evils. Email, gchat, facebook, whatever, lacks the personal emotion, tone, emphasis that often makes communication as successful as it is. Maybe I really meant "your" when I wrote "youre" is a perfect example?? haha. xoxo.