Once again, approach my blog apolgizing for my silence over the last few weeks. My blogging life thrives most when few real events occur in my real life. Most of my blog posts are just reflections on the mundane issues that life raises.
But every once in a while, I come to you with news. Today is such a day. A few weeks ago something happened. As many of you know, I came to Korea for the money. It may sound horrible, but its true. I came here to make money as quickly as possible to pay off the loans I took out for seminary. I hoped that I would be able to pay it all off in a year or two. My time here has shown me that I do not want to live here any longer than I need to. The culture is not a good fit for a loud and slightly crazy girl like me. If you have read any of my blog over the last 8 months you probably understand. About a month ago, I started to think about staying here an extra year. As much as I don't love living here, I don't mind it. And if I can get a job that is less demanding, I might actually slightly enjoy my life here. So I began to apply for jobs here. In the midst of applying for jobs, a miracle happened. The door opened for me to return to Chile.
That's right folks, over three years later, I am finally going back to the country that I love. When I originally left, I thought I would be gone for 6 months to a year. But after Israel and India, I started seminary. I always knew/hoped that I would end up back in Chile. But the door always remained closed.
It was a conversation with my mom that did it. She brought up some things, encouraging me to leave Korea, and basically opening the door for me to do so. I ended the conversation telling her that I needed to think about it. I went to bed, laid in the dark, and tried to stop the running stream of spanish that was flying through my mind. I couldnt get my mind to calm down. I tossed and turned for hours, trying to calm the madness. I cried. I prayed. And finally I fell asleep. I knew when I woke up that it was happening. It wasnt a dream. And it wasn't a lie. God was actually opening the door. He has given me a patience that I could never boast in my own strength. And now He is bringing me back.
I waited a few weeks to share this incredible news with you, my blog readers because I wanted first to give it some time. It's fairly far away. I won't be going till January. But I am not anxious. This move is so different from anything I have done before. The last decade has been filled with small time restrained commitments. I went to Cal Poly, knowing that it was only four years. I went to Chile, commiting to 2 years. I went to seminary, another 2 year commitment. And then Korea, a nice 1-2 year commitment.
Now I am looking at Chile. And there is no number attached. I have learned to not make plans in concrete. But I also have gotten most of my travel bug out of me. I am going to Chile to establish a life there. To plant roots. To have long term dreams (most of them pipe dreams). Really, Im going to live.
There is something very different about this move to Chile. There is a lack of adventure in this move. Not that there is no adventure at all. But that it is the same level of adventure as anything in life brings. But the truth is, this seems so... not risky. I know the culture, I know the language (kinda), I know and love people down there. So it seems almost too easy to move there. I know there is loss in every decision you make. Opening one down means closing others. But for so long, this is the door I have waited for. And I can honestly say that not a minute of the last three years has been wasted. The Lord has been good to me. He has used this poor sinner's life in incredible ways. And I am grateful for the desires He has given me, and that He in turn is the fulfiller of my desires.
So there you go. I have so much else to share with you all. But for now, that will have to do. I am going back. I will be in the States for most of November and December, so if you want a personal visit (I LOVE coffee dates!) then let me know. I'm going to take those two months to visit people and places I love. In some sad way, I feel like it's a goodbye tour. As I said, every open door means some closed doors. But in the end, it is not sorrow that fills my heart, but joy.