I am not even sure why I am writing this- except I need to get it out of my head and I don't have my journal handy. I am really really tired. THis last week was very hard on me both emotionally and spiritually. It is one of those things where it hurts because God is breaking me but it feels good to know that God is being active in my heart. I had a cabin this past week of very special girls. Most of them had never been told that they were worth love, only that they were worth hate. At first I just yelled and gave attitude right back to them, but by the third morning I broke down crying. I couldn't do it anymore. I was fighting a battle and losing badly. I am not sure if all that time yelling was what did the trick, but the girls began to respect me. I decided that I wasn't going to yell. I wanted so badly to show these girls the love of Christ. I felt so powerless though because I kept letting pride and selfishness get in the way. Anyways, I was definitly challenged this week.
I live near a long thin park called Parque Forestal. It's really quite a nice park and it has a long stretch of a lane for riding bikes or jogging. And since I have a fear of riding bikes in this city, I jog. It's really pleasent. I usually listen to radioDisney on my mp3 player and jog along to Jonas Brothers, Beyonce, or Julieta Venegas. Great stuff. Yesterday on my jog I noticed that the trees were beginning to change. Fall has finally arrived and I am glad for the change. But as I was jogging through the falling leaves, I began to think about how much I like fall. And I had this special moment when I realized that I want to be here in Santiago, jogging through this park for many falls to come. After the past few weeks of cultural adjustment being a little more painful than normal, this was a nice thought to have.
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