Waves of hope and pain

I don't have much to report here. I've been trying to muster up the focus to apply to jobs. I'm looking at some stuff in California and some stuff in Korea.
As for the breakup recovery. Honestly, it's easier than I thought, and harder than I thought. I'm not in a state of constant depression. But there are moments when a new thought occurs and I am overwhelmed with an emotion. Usually anger or grief. They are short waves. But nonetheless, they come and wash over me. After a few minutes of tears I return to the reality before me. I am stuck in Philly with no real leads on where I go from here.
Today I experienced my first wave of hope. I was thinking about how much I felt for Jason. How willing I was to love him, to put him before myself, to really give myself to him. And I thought, what if I found someone who loved me back this way? How beautiful would that be? A little glimmer of hope. I'm not sure how much to really hope. It hurts my heart to think in these extremes. It's a process and I know that. I'm just not sure what to do from here.

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a good sign

I live near a long thin park called Parque Forestal. It's really quite a nice park and it has a long stretch of a lane for riding bikes or jogging. And since I have a fear of riding bikes in this city, I jog. It's really pleasent. I usually listen to radioDisney on my mp3 player and jog along to Jonas Brothers, Beyonce, or Julieta Venegas. Great stuff. Yesterday on my jog I noticed that the trees were beginning to change. Fall has finally arrived and I am glad for the change. But as I was jogging through the falling leaves, I began to think about how much I like fall. And I had this special moment when I realized that I want to be here in Santiago, jogging through this park for many falls to come. After the past few weeks of cultural adjustment being a little more painful than normal, this was a nice thought to have.

la musica de chile

For a moment I would liek to ponder the music of Chile. You see, I listen to just about everything (except non-live jazz). Even country, although in this category I limit myself to Dixie Chicks and The Judds (only the old stuff). Here in Chile there is really only a few types of music. One, the corny romantic music that belongs on programs like "Delilah at night". Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I love this type of music. Another type of music is Reggaton (not sure about the spelling, but do I ever spell words correctly?). This is Latin America´s response to Hip Hop. Very good for dancing. I also love the fact that most Reggaton is in Spanglish, my favorite language. There is this other type of music that I like to call the "Corny Electric Piano Musica". Too corny for me and I can only take so much electric piano in one song. I am amazed at how much Englsih music is played here. And people sing to it. they actually know the words, but they have no clue what t

murderous thoughts for cats

I got home from work today, exhausted, only to face the horrible whining of the neighborhood cats outside my window. They used to be really loud, and then in the cold of the winter they disappeared. But now they seem to have returned in full force. I sure hope I can sleep tonight!

becka lippy

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