becka lippy

As of yesterday at 5pm EST, my finals are over and life can resume to some level of normalcy. I have to admit that I have been a little flabergasted today. What do I do without intense levels of stress pushing me forward. Well, believe it or not, this week will still be busy. I have some appointments tomorrow, a few hours of work on Thursday and then 12 hours of work both Friday and Saturday. Im exhausted- physically, mentally, emotionally. And honestly, spiritually. I think it's about time for a short sabbatical. This semester has been one long growth spurt, especially for my heart. I think last year was a year of nourishment leading into the growing pains of a growth spurt these last few months. I have cried and felt so much peace, all at the same time. And now I am walking into these next few months, no idea where the Lord is taking me, and I am grateful for the peace.

My facebook status reads that I am "sad, hopeful, and thankful for it all." And really, all three of those are exactly how I have been feeling as I approach the end of my time at Westminster. Yesterday was my last day of classes for the semester. I have a few weeks of madness ahead of me with finals and the the rest of the December will be spent doing... well, not much. Then, after a three day class on Islam in the beginning of January, it's up to NYC for me. I'll be moving into the Jews for Jesus building to spend some quality time with the two student interns there. I'll also spend some time working on my thesis which is on discipleship formation among the postmodern unchurched population in Manhattan. My nerd alarm goes off anytime I even begin to think about how excited I am to work on this project. And then May 28th, I graduate, and that is where this timeline stops. I have NO idea where the Lord will take me at that point. In fact, I have little idea of what

My house... all covered in snow. Our street.. burrrr! This whole snowing thing that has happened on us the past few days is disturbing. I feel like a little kid who has to deal with life changing and having no control over whats going on around me. I don't like it. It's really cold. I know some people really like the snow, but I just can't seem to get there. I miss warmth. I miss the sun. Goodness, I miss California.

I've been feeling frustration in a lot of my relationships. Growing pains. Things in me feel different now. I had a really awkward conversation with someone today who I have been waiting to get to talk to them for months. And now I'm all awkward. My fears are creeping up into my heart and there is little I can do but recognize them and surrender them. I'm realizing how little I pray, and how weak my few prayers are. I'm seeing my pride lash out against my brothers and my heart breaking. I think I'm learning to be single. There are these two women here at westminster who I admire deeply. Betsy and Barb. They are each involved in amazing and awesome ministries and I find myself watching them and the way they approach life. Both are single and fully and wholly devoted to God. Truly beautiful. And yet it seems like so many older single women, especially in ministry, are rough and cold. They lack that feminine warmth that brings people close. It almost seems like there i

Last night was Halloween, you gotta love it. Lexie from school and Lizzy from church threw a party at their house. Basically a bunch of people from wts, New Life Glenside, and other random places having WAY too much fun! I was Reformation Princess Superhero. :) Of course. Chris, my peruvian friend and me... he was trying to steal my TULIP! Miss Heather and me the "greek" boys.. gotta love them! Me and Mr. Bobby Rhodes Michael stole my tulip! The Blades and me And finally- what do Peter Pan, a penguin, and the Reformed Princess Superhero have in common? THEY LOVE TO PAR-TAY!

Question: (and please DO leave your answer in the comments section. I have a site reader and know who is reading my blog, so DO respond) Do you think your real life relationships are changed/altered/dimished/helped/hurt by your online relationships (your facebook/blogging/skype/gchat relationships). Many relationships will have both real life and online components, but my question is if and how the online component is affecting the real life component.

This blog post is dedicated to Laura, David, Sarah, and Casey. Laura shared something the Lord has been teaching her recently, and it didn't hit me until a few hours later how deep this truth is. My feelings to not dictate my being. When I am feeling something bad, sadness or pain, that doesn't change the fact that the Lord is good. I don't mean to diminish pain or any other feeling, but to give it its proper place in my life. It is not what decides what is true about me. The Lord decides what is true about me and His promises to His people are true whether or not we feel them. We are forgiven. We are loved. We are in Christ Jesus the apple of His eye. When Laura shared this with me, I heard it and walked away. Little did I know the Lord would deal so greatly with me today. David and I work together in Student Association here at Westminster. And he made a comment to me yesterday that stung my heart deep in its core. Not because his comment was wrong in any way, but it was

I just checked out from the public library Deitrich Bonhoeffer's The Cost of Discipleship . It's one of those books that I have had on my to read list for years and yet never had the time to get to it. Even in the first chapter I find myself drawn to this man who suffered and died to live out the Gospel among his own people. He was a German pastor during the Third Reich and he stood against the Nazis. Even when his friends offered to get him out of the country, he stayed believing that his duties as a pastor and a leader in the country required him to suffer with his people. He died in a concentration camp just days before liberation. I have been thinking about discipleship a lot recently. Partly because my internship with Jews for Jesus is directly related to discipling their interns. Partly because it has been of particualr interest to me over the past few years. And mostly because no matter how academic I get, it comes down to what the Lord is doing in my own heart. I cannot

So, here some pics I promised some of ya'all. I dyed my hair on Sunday and got it cut on Monday. I'm used to the change (since I have dyed it since 7th grade) but wts people aren't and its been amusing to see the guys react to it. Some of them notice right away and some of them stare for a moment, cock their heads to the side with a confused look on their face, and then finally ask me if I changed my hair. Amusing.

There isn't much to say these days. Life is moving along and work is keeping me busy. I am finding myself appreciating lots of little things. The leaves turning into deep reds, oranges, and yellows put me in a reflective mood. Not contemplative. I love the season. I forgot how much I loved it until last week when suddenly the air got cool, the sun began to set earlier, and sidewalks where littered with brightly colored leaves. I think others who have grown up in this season filled land have learned to look forward to different seasons. They live through the spring, knowing it leads through summer, and the summer to fall, fall to winter, and of course the cold of winter eventually gives way to the budding roses of spring. But I don't think that way. The coming of a new season is a shocker to me. I suddenly notice that everything around me is different. And everytime I walk out the door I see the changes and I wonder at them. I never ceased to be amazed at the beauty. What a beau

See how the colors change, How brighter greens roll to dark reds inciting a passion deeper than our hearts can hold. See how breath is caught in the chest, crying to come forth in sighs of sadness, hoping for the warm winds of the past. Crisp air hits the skin of lovers who lie cheek to cheek clinging to each other in the fading light. - Anonymous

One of my favorite things is when a dear friend of mine speaks into my life the very words I have spoken to her time and time again. It amazes me how easily I forget the awesome graces of our Lord. I had one of these moments a few nights ago. I was talking to a friend who I have walked with through many tears in the past year. This time I came to her and confessed my own doubts of the Lord's faithfulness to provide. All I saw in front of me was fate deciding my life and my own passive acceptance of this path. But she reminded me of the Lord's condesencion into this world of ours. His promise that He is with us today and tomorrow. And His mighty sovereign hand that holds all the earth together. I've been contemplating the pain of love not returned. With many of my friends starting relationships I find myself content where I am, but contemplating where I am not. I am not in a relationship. I am not in a marriage. Even though I do not feel it right now, I am alone. Not in any

A few blog posts I wish I had time to write (and maybe will find the time in the future): Obama as a demi- god and my fear that we are setting him up for failure in the way we place all our hopes in him. Reading Mother Theresa and pondering the anthropological theology she presents in her writings. My heart is in a new place and I wonder how much of letting some old dreams die has to do with the moving on. Learning a lot about discipleship and the Lord is walking with me in discovering what it truly means to be a disciple of Christ. Loving my Missions Anthropology class and even though it requires an insane amount of work, it is everything I thought my program in Urban Missions would be. Hablo Espanol todos los dias ahora que vivo con una familia Peruana... y me encanta. I have been feeling so loved and so blessed this past week. The Lord has shown me again and again this week how weak my faith is, how easily I am rocked by the waves of this life. And yet, He remains faithful!!

"You stir us up to take delight in your praise, for you have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless till it finds its rest in you"

One of my homework assignments for my Old Testament for Ministry class was to read through the whole book of Joshua in one sitting, taking note of the themes and challanges in the book. So yesterday I sat down with a few hours to spare and began what I imagined to be a somewhat mundane and yet surely somehow beneficial task. I wasn't even into the second chapter before I realized that this was going to be a completely different experience for me. The past year, I have soaked in some amazing lessons in Biblical Theology (oh, Goldsworthy would be proud!) and I saw my reading of Joshua deeply deeply afffected by my education. Here are some of the things I noticed in the first 9 verses: Right from the start, the land is life. Throughout the whole narrative of Israel's covenant with God, the Land is much more than a geographical location or a place to put her sheep out to pasture. The land was so closely tied to life. We'll see this later on in theology as the Promised Land is

In a conversation with my dearest Chubs last night, she asked me if I was lonely. This is not an extraordinary question since our conversations since jr. high have often times been around the topic of boys and relationships. But it was the first time someone (especially someone who knows me so weel) straight out asked me if I was lonely. I couldn't answer immediately. I didn't want to assume that I was since that seems like the right answer for a lady of my age and situation. But I also didn't want to say no just because that is the seemingly more "spiritual" answer. I finally answered " I don;t think so". But it left me wondering. Am I lonely? I know I still desire to get married, I think. But if I'm not lonely, then why do I want to tie the knot? Chubs and I discussed it a little more and I think for the time being, the Lord has allowed me to desire marriage without really wanting it now. It's nice. I realize still that I may never get married

Happy birthday to my mom! We argued yesterday over what age she is turning today... I think we settled on 36 (she was really young when she had me!) In anycase, happy birthday. I wish you all the joy in the world today (oh, wait, I'm your daughter, so you already have all the joy in the world! ) I love you!

I haven't had a chance to blog much recently. My life seems to have imploded. I moved today. I moved from my two bedroom apartment with Liz into a three floor house with Rita and her two kids, Nicole and Andrew. It will be a huge change, but honestly at this point, life is so hectic that I'm not sure I will even notice this change. Work. Even though it is really busy, it's good. I realized that this job is in many ways my dream job. Sure, it's stressful and hectic, but I can handle it and I actually thrive under the pressure. I love the bilingual aspect of it. I love the fact that my boss trusts me to get the job done and she enables me to do so. I love the fact that I get to make things happen, that I have full control. Yeah, I have learned over the past few months that I am a total control freak. Really, I'm a hard core control freak. The Lord needs to deal with me. School. Last year, I enjoyed my classes, but really found myself only interacting with maybe 60% of

Here is a journal entry I had to do for my Human Personality class. It was supposed to be an entry on my ideas of who I am, of my anthropology, and how union with Christ might affect that. I tend to be reflective. I tend to wonder how others are seeing me and I imagine what I might look like to the outside world. But when I am honest with myself, I think I have a better idea of how others view me than I do of who I really am. I cognitively know the theology of who I am. I am created in God’s image, fallen, chosen for faith and Life in Christ Jesus. But what does that really all mean? I don’t think that cognitive knowledge affects my true understanding of who I am. Yesterday was a bad day. It started out stressful and half way through I found myself on the verge of tears from a confrontation with a friend who hadn’t been treating me well and yesterday was the last straw. And today I wake up and feel like yesterday is miles away and yet its not and I still need to deal with the stressful

Got to stretch my organizational skills with the honor of hosting the annual Fall Picnic at school. Basically I bossed people around to make picnic dinner happen for 350 people. The "greek" boys (those first year seminary boys who took greek this summer) were SO helpful and blessed me immensly. I was so discouraged by the bad attitudes I encountered last year. But these boys are different. They did any job that was asked of them and were actually appreciative of my work for the school. Seminary boys who are helpful and appreciative, shocking. After the picnic, I went to the afterparty and against my normal excessive social personality, I just sat and enjoyed watching others being social. I sat on the front porch with some of the guys and just listening silently. That's when I knew I was tired. :) Saturday night I went to a friend's birthday party and danced like a total dork. There was no one to impress so dork dancing it was. It was a little blast from the past with

Today is the first day of school. In fact, for all I know this might be my last first day of school. Even though I have spent the majority of the last month around campus, I haven't seen most of my schoolmates since May. And being a ridiculously social person, I can't believe I get to see so many people in one day! I tried to sit with a friend for a few minutes to catch up and couldn't help my wandering eyes searching the room for familiar faces. And of course I saw them and they saw me and the few minutes were spent talking to them and then talking to the next them and then the next them. It will be an ADD day. It reminds me of my high school days when I would decide that I would be shy. There in the car, on the way to school, all on my own, I would decide that being outgoing was not for me, and from that moment on I would be shy. Like you can decide that kind of thing. I would arrive at school and no kidding, the shy Becka would last about 30 seconds. Well, at least the 2

One of my favorite pastors to stalk (yes, stalking pastors is a pastime of mine) is Justin Moffat of Christ Church in NYC. He's from Sydney and moved to NYC to plant Christ Church with Redeemer. Awesome- a PCA planted Anglican church in Manhattan. I started stalking him when I was in Chile and had a chance to meet him last year. It turns out that I know quite a few people who go to Christ Church. Anyways, while I have taken a bit of a vacation from my stalker responsibilities, I still like to check Justin's blog every once in a while to see how the Aussie is doing in the Big Apple. Follow this link to read a great blog on the Anglican Church. http://moffattnyc.blogspot.com/2008/07/on-1662-book-of-extraordinary-prayer-1.html

For those of you who haven't heard, there was an Anglican Conference in Israel this summer ("GAFCON" -not sure what it stands for, but I'm sure one of the nerds who reads this blog- you know who you are- could answer that in the comment section) Anyways, Bishops from all over the world gathered to discuss the Anglican Communion and the movement of the church. Really exciting stuff. This video was passed along to me by Ben Moore who was there in Israel and helped with the conference. Check it out if you have a chance (I do need to add the disclaimer that this video will probably only appeal to those who have at least an ounce of nerdiness in them). http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1620641154?bclid=1622640497&bctid=1741212819

I find myself seated at Starbucks again, listening to some Jason Mraz. I associate him with Cal Poly. I'm not sure why really. I think he came to CP before he was really famous. Or maybe it's that his music is so laid back like San Luis Obispo. Who knows. One of his songs, I'm yours, is the ultimate Cal Poly song. It makes love sound so easy, so care free and light. I know that it isn't. Or at least my experience has taught me that it isn't. It is painful, hard, and requires more of us than Hollywood lets on. But I remember all the couples in college who seemed to just float into relationships. They met, fell in love, married and moved into little one bedroom apartments. It all looked so easy from the outside. Was it really? Mraz's song reminds me of that ease, just floating into the relationship, being utterly in love and leaving us single girls somewhere between despair and hope. Now, half a decade later, I look back and realize how much of perception has chan

I've been back for a few days now but thought I could give a quick update on how Iowa went. I had a great time working with the team and found myself counting the blessings God poured out on us each day. Some examples of these unexpected blessings are: - a woman from another team let me take her boots to use for the week. I had been given men's boots size 13 and soon realized that it would be nearly impossible to get the work done in them. A woman whose team was leaving as my team was arriving gave me her boots which fit perfectly. Praise God! - I got to spend some quality time with Tom Tomer, one of the leaders in my church, as we did laundry and other errands for the rest of the team. It was so cool to get to hear about his family and see how God was using such a godly man. Praise God! - I didn't get hurt at all on the job and in fact had more energy than I had expected to have throughout the day. Praise God! - I didn't bring a blow up

clinging to it with all the despair of a widow who sees her dead husbands reflection in the mirror, wanting more than anything to bring it close to my chest where I can guard it with all diligence, and knowing that the very hope I cling to is actually a knife ready to sink into my heart, killing the life that beats within me. there is no hope in this dream, it is nothing more than a hallucination of happier days -Anonymous

Love, I see you there Adrift on the air floating by the open widow oh, the sentiment of love reflections that speak of what can enter when out hearts are open Here witnesses appear and recognize how sacred love can be when stated shared shown for all to see the beauty that can be when love is cultivated Out love is a sacred thing like the mysteries of the night in the darkness unwavering and still so strong come the light Our love in an infinite thing Like the suns last ray on the sea as it sets low in the west and the moon rises -Sarah Harmer Open Window (The Wedding Song)

jm, i'm waiting for my grade. :)

One of my favorite songs from my life in Chile. It's about a guy who is best friends with a girl and who wants nothing more than to be her everything, but she seems blind to his desire for more. Anyways, I have been listening to some of my old school favorites (Reik, Orishas, RBD) and missing that country I called mi pais for so long. Will I end up back there? Who knows. I miss the warmth of the people, the men who unashamedly make professions of love to the women they desire, the kids who think its normal to spend time with their abuelos. The curse of being young, time moves so slowly and we are captive to the years that hold us still. This week I have nothing and everything to do and all I can think of is how much I miss my busy life. I love having a million and one things to do. I hate sitting at home. My first few months in Chile were filled with nothingness. How did I survive? I feel so useless here. I know there is a purpose in this time alone. And I am not talking about bei

So last week was rough to say the least, but I can feel my life moving forward. It's almost as if summer is dragging my heart through the horrible humidity and toward the fall where the cool breeze will calm me down. Something like that. Anyways, life is moving on. I'm not doing much and yet my days are over too quickly and I find myself scrambling for time to do the things I have to do. I know that things will be easier once school starts and I have a full schedule each day. There is something satisfying about falling into bed after a full day of activities. I know life isn't about getting things accomplished, but it feels good to look back and know that the day was used well. All of that said, August will be much busier than July. For starters, I will be going to Iowa for a week. My church is sending a group of 10 of us to Iowa to help with the relief work going on there. We will be going from the 9th to the 15th and we'll be tearing down the moldy walls in the homes

So the last few days have been filled with a lot of feelings. Up and down and everywhere. My poor friends have had to listen to my complaints on different situations and wipe the tears from my eyes. My last posting is just an example of the extreme emotions I have felt the last few days. There is a lot going on in my heart and I am learning that I cannot deny the pain that I am feeling, nor should I ignore it. This is a time when I can learn to truly cleave to the Lord. I have found myself praying this simple prayer throughout the day: Lord, deal with my heart. Any pain and frustration. Any hopes crushed. All of these push me into the arms of the Lord. Maybe I am not doing enough now, maybe Im not distracted enough. Maybe I have too much time on my hands and that is making me think about things too much. But really, is thinking about things too much possible? Do I always need to be distracted? Anyways, either way, my prayer for today and tomorrow is: Lord, deal with my heart.

you make me mad how dare you not care how dare you just walk after so long all the time I wasted on you all the love I wasted on you all the hope Oh the hope that someday something might be returned but there's obviously nothing you have nothing to give me but sadness for so long you were the source of joy but it was all based on a false dream that will never see the morning how dare you cast my heart so easily to the side and you have no clue in the end, I am the fool how dare you not know I am the fool to think that it would be different now no words are given nothing shared and the truth comes forward and I am the fool I am the fool

I wrote out my "non-negotiables" over 5 years ago. And for the past 5 years, I have seen those non negs as the guidelines for what kind of man I would hope to marry and what kind of wife I would hope to be. The past month, I have been learning something new about my heart. Not different, but new. Instead of setting boundaries for my heart, the past month has been a time to examine the natural tendencies of my heart. I have spent some considerable time talking to some close girlfriends about some recent matters of the heart and I have come to realize that my approach romantic love is quite unconventional to my generation. I seem to fit more into the mold of Elizabeth Bennet (from Pride and Prejudice) than any modern heroine. I am not looking for that butterfly in the stomach, can't sleep at night, sweaty hands relationship. I am looking for deep admiration and respect. Sure, I would love to feel that chemistry with someone, but when I am honest with myself, that chemistry

In the last 24 hours I have been twice given the opportunity to serve others, to put others before myself. My church called and said that they needed someone to teach the 3 year old class. And to be honest, I hesitated. Not for any good reason, but just because I wanted my summer sundays to myself. And I could have said no. I could have asked for a more glorious job at the church. But I knew God was softly whispering His rebuke, calling me to serve before being served, to give before receiving glory. So I agreed to help in the way that my church needed. And I knew as soon as I said yes, that I had done the right thing. Serving would be the biggest blessing. And then today my roommate asked me to help some of her friends pack to move to Texas. I really didn't want to. I didn't have any plans but wanted to spend the evening selfishly sitting on my couch. But I tried to find any valid reason to not help these people, and nothing came but the Lord's reminder that serving is a b

Jason and I before the parade. We rocked it! Our church passed out water bottles to the people watching the parade Even the puppy helped the cause I love my church!

beautiful portugal hot mommas!

Dani and I with our monster backpacks Our super cool lunch of cheese on bread! Remind anyone of Valpo??? It rained in Venice YUM!

Some photos from Venice: Hello friends! Just wanted to let you know that I have arrived safely at home after my travels abroad. I had a wonderful time. Portugal, Spain, Italy, Belgium, Holland, Northern Ireland, England. It was a wonderful trip. I got sick at the end, but still managed to have a great time. I will try to post some pictures so you guys can see the amazing places we got to go.

Time to get personal again. Here is my heart, on a platter, with small garnishes around it... This is something I wrote in my journal yesterday as I sat watching small boats float down the canal... ( I am not a poet, so please don't judge this as poetry, but it is something I wanted to share on this blog which has been a chronicler of my heart's whims) For love is not meant to be lived by one, but two Who together find each other as one These two wholes become halves and leave the other wanting But alas, one cannot live love alone. There is no half, nor whole, but none This truth, though seemingly dark, has shed some light on my situation I am not half for there is no other to make me miss that other part I have not lived love, not yet anyways. So I am left with this dark truth that brings forth light. I have not lived love, but I have looked upon it. I have looked upon love It beckoned me to enter But the key to its joy requires two hearts And my heart stood alone What sorrow

By the way, my trip is going great so far. Danielle and I met up in London and travelled through Portugal, Spain, and Italy. Now I am with my mom and family in Amsterdam. Saturday I will meet up with Danielle again in Belfast where we will visit Sam, and then we'll spend a week in England. Jolly good times!

I have heard that some more sadness is going on with my beloved school. I read some emails with some distressing news yesterday and found myself wiping away the tears that had silently fallen. There is nothing I can say here (some students evidently are getting in trouble for what they write on their blogs and I don't want to risk anything). but I will say this: the division this is causing is too much for my heart to bear. It pains me beyond words to see Christian brothers in such a situation. I love Westminster, the history of it, the people there, the culture of learning and believing that I have experienced there. but this situation is tearing all of those beloved qualities apart. No longer is Westminster a place of joy and learning for me, but of sadness. Please pray for my school, for the students, for the faculty, for the administration, and for the board. May we be charitable to each other and true to the Gospel that has saved us.

1. One book that changed your life: Graeme Goldsworthy, Gospel and Kingdom (ok, it looks like I copied Sam on this one, but this was actually the first book on Biblical Theology I read and it totally changed my life) 2. One book that you’ve read more than once: Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice 3. One book you’d want on a desert island: The Bible (or Charles Spurgeons notes on the Psalms- both volumes!) 4. One book that made you laugh: John Brennan, How to survive the Chilean Jungle 5. One book that made you cry: H. Norman Wright, Always Daddy's Girl 6. One book that you wish had been written:I'll read Sam's book: Looking back and moving forward: towards a recovery of reformed catholicity (Sam, let me know when you buckle down and write it yourself) 7. One book that you wish had never been written: Joel Osteen, Become the better you 8. One book you’re currently reading: Michael Goheen, "As the Father has sent me, I am sending you": Lesslie Newbiggin's Missionar

On our last day of class we honored Manny and Sue who have faithfully served the Westminster community for years. They are officially leaving us now to continue their work in Urban Church Planting. Michelle and Elle, las chicas! Manny and Sue, my professors We presented them with some plants. Jenn is posing with Sue and Alvin is... well, let's just say that Alvin is being Alvin. :) Michelle, Karen, and Me My profs!!!

Charlie kissing Tosha (shhh! Don't tell her husband!) Hannah and Mellis and Me Some good ol' school guitar playing Check out the cool fire!

(Note: I am totally procrastinating right now. I have SO much work to get done this weekend but that's okay. My priorities are a little out of wack. Whatever!) I haven't written for a while. Between schoolwork, real work, and just life in general, I haven't had much time for writing down any reflections. But today I am taking a minute to share a thought that is bringing me confort today. Last weekend I met my dad down in Washington DC. My grandparents live there and my grandpa is not doing too well. The doctors say he probably doesn't have much time left. I have had a special relationship with my grandparents for a while now. I am the first girl to be born in the Lipkowitz family for three generations. When I was little I didnt really get my grandparents. THey lived on the other coast and when we went to visit them it was fun but not necessarily intimate. When I was 16 something changed. I went to visit my grandparents by myself. I found out that my grandma is pretty co

Spring is here. Just as winter was a whole new experience for me, springtime is filling me with wonder. This week, out of nowhere, there are flowers on the trees, daffodils in front of the houses, and robins flying around. I have taking walks and listening to The Village Church sermons on my ipod. After my walk today I laid out in the yard and just enjoyed the gorgeous day. I miss California. I miss the sun. The light cool wind that blows through the trees offering refreshment from the heat. But I will admit, I am liking this whole "springtime" thing. Thank God for spring.

Here we are playing football. Well, not playing football, more like tossing the ball around. Don't we look like the normal seminary students?

I love this movie. There are some movies that so pull on your heart and this is one of them. I find myself lost in the story. Man, I am such a girl sometimes. In the movie, there is this one scene where the main character played by Daniel Day-Lewis is going to leave the woman he loves so he might save her in the end. The looks they exchange before he leaves are priceless. So much passion and trust, fear and love. Sigh.

This is a song we sang in church this morning. May the words bless you as they did me this morning. The precious blood of Jesus Christ redeems Forgiven I’m alive, restored set free Your Majesty resides inside of me Forever I believe Forever I believe Arrested by Your truth and righteousness Your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness Convicted by Your Spirit Led by Your Word Your love will never fail Your love will never fail I know You gaveThe world Your Only Son for us To know Your name To live within the Saviour’s love He took my place Knowing He’d be crucified And You loved You loved A people undeserving ‘Cause I know You gave The world Your Only Son for us To know Your name To live within the Saviour’s love And He took my place Knowing He’d be crucified And You lovedYou loved A people undeserving

I know I have alluded to the painful situation that we are going through here at wts, and really I should at some point I should actually share with you all what is going on. But before I write that blog, I have to write this blog. It is a confession. In the pain, in the sadness, in the confusion that has overcome our beloved school, I have taken my eyes off of Christ and found them fixed on the depravity of man. I realized this last night in class when the professor was reading a passage from the Bible that was supposed to comfort us and instead of listening, I chose to check my email to see if there was an update on the situation. Bad Becka, bad. I have been praying about the situation the whole way through, but my prayers feel more like desperate cries than confident appeals to a God who IS in control. Lord, forgive me for my unfaithfulness. Forgive my doubt and help me live today in light of Your reign and glory.

In the midst of the painful situation we are facing at Westminster, some of us came together tonight to hang out and enjoy some of our schoolmates perform.