Sunday, November 25, 2012

a much needed rest

In at the Starbucks along the Plaza de Armas in Cusco. It's my last night here and I'm trying to balance my desire to be home in my own apartment with what I know is a much needed time away from it all. I have been examining my commitments in life. My jobs (I have two part time jobs), my role in my church as a part of the pastoral team (although I'm not employed by the church, it's like another job), my dreams and desires. Everything. I've had too many "almost" burn-outs this past year. And for what? Because I don't know how to say "no"? Because I don't know how to balance the urgency with the need for rest?
So this mini-vacation is good. It's good for me to get away. To be alone for a while. Even though a good chunk of my time here has been spent dealing with the rabies issue, I still know that it's been good for me. I've been able to just lay in bed and read. I've been able to go to sleep without setting my alarm. In Chile, even if I could sleep in, I always set my alarm. I don't want to waste time and what if I accidentally sleep in until noon?
It took me a while to get over my time management habits. I had to keep repeating to myself, Becka, you don't have a schedule today. You don't even have things that you have to accomplish today (except for the daily rabies shot). So chill. Chill!
So here I am. Not concerning myself with much. Just enjoying my time alone, with God. And the Andes Mountains.

Tomorrow I head to Lima for the day before flying back to my beloved Chile. It's nice to go home. Especially when home is somewhere you love.

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