In case you were wondering, no, Im not going to talk about getting my hair done.
No today's post is more of a catch up post. Stuff that's happened this week. Kinda boring, but I guess boring is better than some other options.
The bigger random non-personal things:
God has been using culture shock to deal with some issues in my heart. My desire for the approval of others, my fear of being alone and helpless, my fierce and stubborn pride. These things are only exasperated by being here. It's weird because I don't really remember hitting this kind of culture shock in other countries. I think the knowledge that I was in a country short term, and the presence of more gringos in my life made the reality of living in another culture less threatening.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to come home (sorry Grandma!) I don't really miss life in the states. I know that life there is great for some people, but I don't feel at home in the culture there. In fact, because I am indeed gringa, when I am in the states, and I feel uncomfortable, I feel guilty. I feel like I should be comfortable there. It ends up being a vicious cycle of discomfort and guilt. Not a good way to live. Here, at least when I feel discomfort, I don't feel guilt. I have a lot more grace for myself.
So all that is to say, I know I'm here and I'm supposed to be here. But it doesn't lessen the process of dealing with being in a different culture.
One of the biggest changes I have noticed is that I am quite introverted. I'm not saying I'm shy. Just introverted. I crave alone time much more than I crave people time. Maybe it's a permanent change since the depression. Maybe this is an actual chemical change in me. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm living in a country that doesn't recognize a need for alone time. So most people think its odd to spend the day alone. I think it's a combination of both factors. And maybe a few more. Either way, I'm very very grateful for my apartment.
So that's the update. I'm going to try to be more faithful to update this blog. But for now, goodnight friends.
No today's post is more of a catch up post. Stuff that's happened this week. Kinda boring, but I guess boring is better than some other options.
The bigger random non-personal things:
- There were a few earthquakes this week. The biggest one was 5.7 and I felt it comfortably from my apartment. I'm weird I know, but I kinda like earthquakes. As long as they aren't damaging, they are kinda fun.
- There was a bomb scare in the building across the street from my apartment this week. I came from work and found the street blocked off. Evidently there was an annonymous call about a bomb being planted in the building and the precautionary measures were taken.
- This morning I was surprised to hear a bunch of racket outside. I looked out the window and saw what looked like something between a parade and a protest. I enjoyed watching them walk by but couldn't hear well enough to understand anything they were saying. I later saw on the news that it was a protest against the arrival of Obama this week. Yep, the whole Obama family is coming to Chile this week (yay Michelle!!!) and a few chileans were upset about it.
Some more personal things:
- I was kinda sick this week. I felt weak on Tuesday and luckily my evening classes cancelled and I could just go home and sleep. The rest of the week I took it easy and tried to stay home and rest as much as possible.
- Which brings me to a fun thing to share. Totally random, but one of my FAVORITE things in life is taking naps in the sun on comfy couches. Now that the drama with my couch has died down, I can enjoy the blessings of the Lord, namely, my wonderful sofa. It's right next to the window, so when I nap, I have the "fresh" air (air is far from fresh here in Santiago!) and the sunshine right on my face. I've had the chance to come home a few afternoons in time for a nap. Yum.
And even more personal:
God has been using culture shock to deal with some issues in my heart. My desire for the approval of others, my fear of being alone and helpless, my fierce and stubborn pride. These things are only exasperated by being here. It's weird because I don't really remember hitting this kind of culture shock in other countries. I think the knowledge that I was in a country short term, and the presence of more gringos in my life made the reality of living in another culture less threatening.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to come home (sorry Grandma!) I don't really miss life in the states. I know that life there is great for some people, but I don't feel at home in the culture there. In fact, because I am indeed gringa, when I am in the states, and I feel uncomfortable, I feel guilty. I feel like I should be comfortable there. It ends up being a vicious cycle of discomfort and guilt. Not a good way to live. Here, at least when I feel discomfort, I don't feel guilt. I have a lot more grace for myself.
So all that is to say, I know I'm here and I'm supposed to be here. But it doesn't lessen the process of dealing with being in a different culture.
One of the biggest changes I have noticed is that I am quite introverted. I'm not saying I'm shy. Just introverted. I crave alone time much more than I crave people time. Maybe it's a permanent change since the depression. Maybe this is an actual chemical change in me. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm living in a country that doesn't recognize a need for alone time. So most people think its odd to spend the day alone. I think it's a combination of both factors. And maybe a few more. Either way, I'm very very grateful for my apartment.
So that's the update. I'm going to try to be more faithful to update this blog. But for now, goodnight friends.
Comments
that cracked me up. i too, enjoy a good couch nap in the sunshine.