Saturday, September 04, 2010

Teachers Beware

The title of this post doesn't refer to the dangers of teaching children. No, I am refering to the dangers when teaching the Bible. James 3 says, "Let not many of you become teachers, my brothers, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment". Basically, live up to what you preach. Thank God we preach grace and mercy, not our own perfection.
Still, I am reminded of this warning as I face a night of disappointment. Yep. Today was just one of those days where the reality of singleness hit harder than usual. I was struggling through this, praying that God would meet me in this moment. That's when I got home and read an email from a guy asking if I would be interested in setting up his friend with mine. My heart sunk. His friend was one of those guys that you meet and are just so blown away by their love for the Lord. And you hope somewhere in your heart that you get a guy like that someday. It's not that I was so madly in love with this guy, but it was just a reminder that this one isn't for me. Just like all the rest. Not for me. Or so it feels.
It's not a coincidence that I am feeling this way tonight. In about 16 hours I am going to stand before some women and tell them that their theology affects their lives. I am going to tell them that they have to cling to God and His promises because life hits us hard sometimes. I am going to tell them that dealing with things like discontentment, shame, and disappointment are all theological issues. So as I sat at my desk, reading the email, watching some misplaced hopes wash down the drain, I cried out to the Lord. I begged Him to give me faith that He truly is working things out in my life. My future may or may not involve a husband. My hope is not in some perceived ideal of domestic bliss. My hope is in Him and Him alone. I don't write these things easily. They bring tears to my eyes. "Have faith" is not an easy answer. In fact, in some ways it is much harder than doing the dirty work. It is more of a daily struggle to cling to this reality- the reality that God is faithful and good and in control.
So come tomorrow, when I stand before the women in my church and proclaim to them the Lord's faithfulness, I come not as a professional or a perfect example. I come as one who spent a night clinging to the hope that is found in the arms of a sweet savior.

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