Then the third question came. This one wasn't so easily to answer. The guy asked, "So then are you preparing yourself for marriage?" Um...
I think I know the idea this guy is working from, but there is something in me that says its the wrong question. Now, let me say first, that this guy, and the people who think this way, have some AMAZING theology. They have encouraged me more than ever in my walk with the Lord.
But I battled this idea of preparing for marriage a lot over the years. The truth is, I am a woman, created in God's image, and if He has me single, it doesn't diminish any of those facts. So while I want to marry, and I think its a possibility some day, I can't live my life oriented around a hoped for day in the future.
No, God has so much more for me. He made me to live today as a godly woman. All the gifts that I hope to exercize as a wife- hospitality, kindness, patience, selflessness- I am supposed to use them today! Of course it's different, but godly character is godly character whether or not you're married. So I told this guy that I am trying to pursue His goodness for me today. That I am looking at biblical feminity no just for when I get to be a wife, but that as a single I could truly honor God as a woman.
One of the authors who has been really encouraging me is Carolyn McCulley. In an article she wrote, she talked about this issue of being a single woman seeking biblical feminity. I'll leave you with a quote from her:
I was not a female form outlined in dotted lines, waiting for one man to
fill me in and therefore complete my femininity. I was feminine because that's
how my God made me, and there was something of his image that I was to reflect
as a woman—even a single woman.