Thursday, October 29, 2009

Lame and I know it

So I know my blog posts have been few and far between recently- sorry! I am going to try to make up for it with a cool few posts.
First, I just have to say that the past four months have been that hardest months of my life. I won't go into details here but it is safe to say that I have spent the last few months in a pit. I have never been that deep in a valley before and my one joy and consolation from this season was that the Lord was ever near. THere wasn't a moment that I didn't feel His presence, holding me close. I couldn't walk. I couldn't move. There seemed no end to the valley, but He always stayed with me. In fact, there were moments when all I could do is cry out for Him to sit with me. It was all the strength I had. I was reading some of James today and reflecting on how God tells us to rejoice in our sufferings, that it is for our good. I can confidently say that the Lord has been immensly good to me in this past season. He is faithful and I am grateful for the season of sorrow that I lived.
That being said, I am also grateful that it is over. The depression left with the fever. The previous three weeks had been the worst yet. I spent a lot of time crying and what little hope of recovery I had felt over the summer was quickly evaporating. One night was particularly bad and it was the next day that I got sick. I wasn't surprised to be sick after so many intense emotions. But as I soon learned, the fever was a blessing. It was those few days of being sick that brought me out of the pit. When it was finally time to go back to work (last Monday morning) I was all too ready to start my life here. I walked out of my apartment that day finally enjoying my life here. I realized that I was eager to learn Korean, to go out and have fun, to make friends. All the things that I had run from earlier, I was now happy to begin.
All of this being said, I'll now start to blog again. THank you to all of you who prayed for me during this dark season (especially to Julie and Tosha who let me be real when the pit seemed way above my head). You have blessed me beyond words.

1 comment:

KristyWes said...

You're so brave! Thanks for being real. We miss you on Thursday mornings at Cosi. We were just talking about God's ever-abiding presence today. Love that we're 'in sync' across the globe. :)