I got home from work today around six and felt the waves of sleep threatening to wash over me. If I slept, even just a little nap, I would ruin any chance of good rest tonight. So before I surrendered to the tiredness that ached through my bones, I grabbed an umbrella and ran out the door. I would find a bookstore and read the second Twilight book, New Moon. Ok, confession time. I am totally obsessed with these books. I remember hearing about them and thinking how silly vampire romance books sound. I had decided against the popular trend. That is, until I saw the movie. Once I saw it, I had to read the books. I mean, the fact alone that I watched the movie three times in one day is slightly pathetic enough to make it worth the jump into obsession. So I read the first book, all five hundred pages, in two days. I couldn't put it down. Then, I read the fifth book (which is the first book told from another perspective). Those three hundred pages took me one night. So as I walked out the door, the thought of reading the second book was making my search for a bookstore all the more exciting. Unfortunatly the bookstore that googlemaps claimed was only a few blocks from me, wasn't there at all. So I headed to one I knew existed, even though it meant an extra 20 minutes of walking. It was raining slightly, but I didn't mind. The moisture in the air rushed into my lungs as I breathed in deeply. I've been oddly moved by the humidity since I returned from Philly. It makes me feel close, like I'm being hugged by the air. I feel more alive now then I have in a long time.
I finally arrived at the bookstore and set out to find my beloved books. I walked over to the fiction section of the store. Hmm.... vampire romance...would it be under romance? Or fantasy? They weren't in either. I was too embarrassed to ask for help so I went over to a computer kiosk and looked it up myself. Oh... Young Adult. That would make sense. I sheepishly smiled to myself as I walked up the stairs to the Young Adult section. There they were. Easy to find.
I sat down in a corner with a copy of New Moon and made myself comfortable. I figured if it was only seven I could get a few hours of reading in before the store closed. About a hundred pages in, I found myself wiping tears from my eyes. This was embarrassing. Crying in the middle of a Borders bookstore, reading Twilight! But I couldn't help it. The detoriation of the relationship in the book felt way too close to home. I pulled my hood over my head and bent over the book, hoping no one would notice my emotional state.
I made it to page 155 before the announcement came over the loud speaker. It was 10pm and the store was closing. I gathered my things, carefully placed the book back on the shelf and headed out the doors. The security guard smiled at me and wished me a good night. As I stepped outside, I noticed that the rain had stopped. The air was still damp, and now slightly cool. I clutched my purse close to my side and made my way out into the street. I guessed that a quick bus ride up 3rd Ave would be the easiest way home. I ran to catch a bus, my flip flops were wet some the excess water in the streets. I made it to the bus and sat down in the front. It would be a short ride. The men sitting across from me were reminiscing about a day a few years ago when the taxi drivers went on strike. Evidently the taxis are ugly to them. I like the taxis though. I smiled. To each his own.
This breakup has really done a number on me. I used to love being with people, laughing really loud. I was reflective, but only after the fact. These days, I seem to avoid people. I just would rather sit in the humid air. Breathing in slowly. I'm sure it will change and I will be a social butterfly soon enough. But for now, it is really a treasure to enjoy this time. There are no strings attached. Just as it is.