In a conversation with my dearest Chubs last night, she asked me if I was lonely. This is not an extraordinary question since our conversations since jr. high have often times been around the topic of boys and relationships. But it was the first time someone (especially someone who knows me so weel) straight out asked me if I was lonely. I couldn't answer immediately. I didn't want to assume that I was since that seems like the right answer for a lady of my age and situation. But I also didn't want to say no just because that is the seemingly more "spiritual" answer. I finally answered " I don;t think so". But it left me wondering. Am I lonely? I know I still desire to get married, I think. But if I'm not lonely, then why do I want to tie the knot? Chubs and I discussed it a little more and I think for the time being, the Lord has allowed me to desire marriage without really wanting it now. It's nice. I realize still that I may never get married and I may very well struggle with deep bouts of lonliness. But I will praise God now for the wonderful times I have right now. TImes filled with something that might almost look like contentment. What a thought.
I live near a long thin park called Parque Forestal. It's really quite a nice park and it has a long stretch of a lane for riding bikes or jogging. And since I have a fear of riding bikes in this city, I jog. It's really pleasent. I usually listen to radioDisney on my mp3 player and jog along to Jonas Brothers, Beyonce, or Julieta Venegas. Great stuff. Yesterday on my jog I noticed that the trees were beginning to change. Fall has finally arrived and I am glad for the change. But as I was jogging through the falling leaves, I began to think about how much I like fall. And I had this special moment when I realized that I want to be here in Santiago, jogging through this park for many falls to come. After the past few weeks of cultural adjustment being a little more painful than normal, this was a nice thought to have.
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