So I have shared enough of my heart on this blog to validate the name "heart" of lippy. Often though, my entries have been filled with honesty about lonliness and dealing with singlehood. Tonight I write something new. For the last few weeks I have seen a distinct change in my heart.
In fact, it started on the first of this year. I was convicted over Christmas break of my tendency toward inappropriate friendships with guys. Friendships that go deep way too fast and that I use for emotional validation. So I asked the Lord to teach me to have appropriate relationships with guys in 2008. And before I knew it, He did more than teach me- He changed me. Except for a few short months in college when I pondered the single life, I have spent most of my life wondering the who, when, and where of meeting that special someone. I have dreamed of being married, having kids, being a wife and mom.
But the last three weeks those thoughts have been far from my mind. Instead they have been replaced with gratitude to the Lord for giving me this time to be single. I am so happy to be in a place where my only real concern is my relationship with the Lord. It has been such a blessing to go through life genuinely joyous. I am going through my days really happy. It's not that I wasn't happy before, but I felt like something was missing, like I needed something or someone in my life. I know someday I'll probably want to get married, be a wife, have kids. But today I am just thankful for the chance to be alone with God.