Friday, November 02, 2007

Hard Week Ending

In Doctrine of Church today, Stan Gale spoke about spiritual warfare and I was really grateful for the lecture. This week has been somewhat intense. Nothing big in particular, but may little things breaking my heart. I had a dream last night about someone from my past that I am having a hard tiem forgiving (and no, they don't read this blog). In my dream I was crying uncontrollably and at various times I would see myself in the mirror and not have any sign of my crying. My eyes were normal, not puffy. When I woke up though, I had really been crying. This week has been hard on my heart. But in class Gale talked about how the crisises in our lives are there sometimes to show us where we are not okay. Where we are not walking in the full promises of the Lord. I have seen this week so much about myself, where my heart is, where my mouth is, and I am sick at the thought of my actions and thoughts this week. I know the Lord is gracious, and I am choosing to beleive that even though I might not feel it right now. I feel like this week a big spot light on my heart, showing any and all filth that might be there. This weekend, I hope to rest in His promises. He has called me to a life of holiness and I want that with all my heart and soul. So I am joyful in this shame. I rest in knowing that God is dealing with me out of love. He cares too much for me to let me continue in my sin.

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