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Fear

Wow, the week has flown!!! It has been filled with tons and tons of homework. Lots of other work, and of course some really good conversations. This week was interesting. I found myself missing my life more than ever. I got a notice in my school mailbox telling me the radio stations to listen to for snow days. Umm.. yeah.. snow days? And it really began to hit me this week that I LIVE here. Even as I type these words I feel my whole body getting tense. The only time I remember feeling this tense was when I was working too many hours with 22 credits in school. I feel the panic of the unknown, the fear. My dad had given me warning that if I needed time to adjust before coming out here for seminary, I should. But I thought I was fine. I have never been one to allow myself time to adjust. But I am seeing that maybe I am not as flexible and invincible as I thought I was. I have these moments when I feel deep fear. I have no clue how to handle the fact that I live here. Here in Philadelphia. Here on the east coast. Here in the country. How do you drive in snow? Is it dangerous? I am so cold, so cold here. I love studying here, but I have to admit, this feels so much more foreign land than Chile ever did. Anyways, enough rantings for the day. Please pray for this time and that I would have wisdom as to how much to allow myself to feel the weight of the situation. Thank you for all the encouraging emails I have gotten. God bless!

Comments

Anonymous said…
Thanks for bravely sharing this. Plow on, and we'll be praying for you!
3:21 PM
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