Today was one of those days when you know the Lord is teaching you what He has been doing in your life. Last night I left my wallet at the inner city campus. This morning when I couldn't find it and I knew there was a good chance that it was gone forever, I wanted to freak out. The inner city campus is a 30 minute drive. As I made my way down there, I praying. I was praying that I would have the right response to the situation. That I would live as one who had been redeemed, living out that realtity in this situation. And the Lord spoke to my heart. He reminded me of those very truths that I have been "hiding in my heart", His plan for redemption which He has played out throughout all history. And this is the story He has called me to be a part of, not just in an eternal salvific manner, but in my every moment in this life.
I was thinking on all these things, listening to some gospel music ("He brought me through tribulation... for I know that I am blessed and highly favored!") and I was realizing all the intense truths that God has been teaching me, in all my classes, all my assignments, all my readings, I have been overwhelmed with these amazing truths. And then it dawned on me: I am so overwhelmed in dealing with these truths, and it is just me and God. I wrestle everyday with these incredible realities. And I do it alone. Usually I get all lonely during these times. I want someone to share these moments with, someone to work through these issues with. But today I saw the grace in my singlehood. I am able to wrestle with these issues on such a deep level because the only "man" in my life is the Lord. I don't have to worry about my relationship with my husband, with serving him and loving him, since I am commited to one man, and that man has brought me here, kept me for Himself, and is now teaching me to know and love Him in such a deeper way. I am surely blessed and highly favored!!!