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a growing time

This last week has been one of thoughts and misunderstandngs and hopes and failures... between me and God. I don't know why or why it started, but by the time wednesday night came I was mildly upset and pretty confused. I have been listening to the sermons of Francis Chan (those of you who know him are all excited now!) and I really like what he says. He always seems to remind me that my first love is Christ and that anything I give up for Christ is nothing compared to the riches I gain in Him. Bueno... but then I was thinking about it and how much I love the systematic and reformed hardcore "dead in your sins" preaching. And I had a problem mixing the two in my mind. So what do I do? I call Jason and basically force him to let me talk it out with him (he has been waiting for a good theological convo for some time now!) and our talk really helped. I realized a lot about my relationship with God. And I began to ask some questions about what my relationship should look like. SO then I talked to Michael Charles (one of the professors here from Moore Theological Seminary who I respect a TON). And with Michael, even more questions were asked. And i was left pondering things like "what is the Gospel" and what am I supposed to preach to others, and what am I supposed to preach to myself everyday (read some John Piper or Jerry Bridges if you are wondering why we are to preach to ourselves everyday).
So this morning I was supposed to meet a guy at new York Bagels. But he never showed up. And my classes were cancelled. So I bascially sat in NYB and wrote out my thoughts. I know it is a process, and that God is teaching me about what the Gospel is. But even with all the confusion, I still am left extremely joyful. I serve a God who is bigger than I can understand. He is mightier than I could ever imagine. And He has bestowed more grace and love on me than I could ever hope for.
Thank you Lord for your grace today and always.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I actually started sweating with exitement when I read Francis Chan's name because hopefully I'll be seeing him preach in December! You know my mind wasn't really following your theological mind, but I'm so glad you got to hang out with God all day and work some things out. Love, Danielle
2:55 AM
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