I am watching a program on CNN which is now my connection to the world. There is a program on right now about the families in Pakistan who are facing not only the absolute horror of dealing with the thousands upon thousands dead, but also the cold winter ahead that could easily kill them if they do not get better housing then the thin tents they now live in. I feel so helpless. What can I do here? I want to do something, but I don´t know how. I don´t know what. and these darn photojournalists show the eyes of the people, so sad, so hopeless. Please tell me what I can do, because I dn´t want to live this life like this. I hate the fact that I can live in total denial of the suffering that others are in. I hate that. I hate that the situation seems so big and I feel so small. These families in Pakistan are facing more harship than I could ever imagine. Mothers who have lost their young children. Nothing could be worse. I need to do something, but I don´t understand how. I makes me want to move back to the States and get a job that makes alot of money so I could help... but that is not where I am. And I know I am supposed to be here in Chile. I have a feeling that I am going to need to go. I don´t know what that means, or when I would go, or even where I would go, but I am going to go. There is too much pain in this world and too much ability to love in my heart for me to not go. O am sorry mom. I know this is something you don´t want to read. But here is my heart.
I live near a long thin park called Parque Forestal. It's really quite a nice park and it has a long stretch of a lane for riding bikes or jogging. And since I have a fear of riding bikes in this city, I jog. It's really pleasent. I usually listen to radioDisney on my mp3 player and jog along to Jonas Brothers, Beyonce, or Julieta Venegas. Great stuff. Yesterday on my jog I noticed that the trees were beginning to change. Fall has finally arrived and I am glad for the change. But as I was jogging through the falling leaves, I began to think about how much I like fall. And I had this special moment when I realized that I want to be here in Santiago, jogging through this park for many falls to come. After the past few weeks of cultural adjustment being a little more painful than normal, this was a nice thought to have.
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-mom