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There is way too much to write for one blog

So as most of the people who read this blog know, i was really nervous about coming here to Chile becuase I really value my church family, and I was not sure that I would reallyhave one here. But about 20 minutes after I wrote the last entry, I was wlaking through the downtown center and I passed some music that sounded familar and I stopped to listen for a moment- it was Jaci Velasquez, a Christian artist that I used to listen to back in the states! I went to where teh music was playing and I asked the middle aged women at that booth, who was the music. I found she was a Christian and I asked her where her church was. The whole scene reminded me of a story I read somewhere of how the original church found eachother in the market place with the fish symbol. The women, named Veronica brought, right then and there she just left her booth with someone else, and she brought me to her church. There were two women there at the time, one of them was one of the pastors. The pastors consist of a man and his wife. Okay, anyone that knows all the studying of the Word I did this last year, knows that I am not really okay with women being hte "pastor". But that was not going to stop me from going to the churhc becasue it is not a salvation issue. Well I was so grateful to God, yet still pretty uneasy aboutht e whole thing. I kept praying that God would take away any ungodly fear, but that He would continue to guard my heart. So I hung out with one of the ladies from the nect church adn she explained that there was a discipleship program in the church and I would get a spiritual mother. I told that I would love that. But then, my thoughts later started to think about the fact that the whole reason i had Leah as my discipler this last year is becasue I trusted her and I respected her opinion on spiritual matters. I also was willing to take correction from her. In mind mind, I thought, I would love to hang out with one of the women in the church, but I do not trust them yet to be an authority in my life. Is that pride, or is that wisdom?
Anyways, I went to churhc yesterday, a FIVE HOUR SERVICE!!!! oh my gosh, I thought that other churhces went long, but this was amazingly long! Anyways, I didn´t understand everyting that the pastors said, but I understood that we were looked at the fruit of the spirit. Well, at one point they called me up to the front to introduce myself, fine, I am not embarrassed to speak in front of people. But they had a guy come up to the front to interpret from English to Spanish. Well, during one of the three worship times, they called me up to the front and the pastor was praying over me. Fine, that is nice, a little uncomfortable, but I prayed that God would help me get over cultural boundries. He started speaking tongues. and he told me to talk to God. He also made me raise my hands. he MADE me raise my hands, hmmm... not my favorite thing that he did. So then, he was praying in tongues and I could tell that he wanted me to pray in tongues, so I prayed in English- I smile at this part becuase I was praying in Englsih for God to get me out of the situation. I had started about praying that God would help me overcome uncomfort from cultural differences and that I would be able to truly worship Him with these people. But then, I opened my eyes for a moment, and saw that the woman that the pastor had been praying for next to me was lying on the ground. NOPE! No, I am sorry but I do not believe in the "slaying of the spirit". At that point I decided that I needed to fight spiritually for some stregnth from God because I did not want to do the things that the pastors wanted me to do. I put my arms down, becuase they were distracting me from God, and I kneeled on the ground and prayed. I felt the woman pastor come over and begin to pray over me. SHe was praying so hard and so fiercly, and her hands were on my head and she was pushing me. Like she wanted me to fall over. I am a stubborn person as you all know and I was not going to let me push me over to lie on the ground! SO I remained kneeling. I was so scared/upset/I am not sure what the emotion was, but I began to cry out to God to help me because I missed my home church. I missed people who really seemed to know and the the Word of God. So I began to cry and of course God brought a comforter. Veronica, the older lady came and wrapped her arms around me. THAT was what I needed, not someone yelling in spanish and hitting my chest saying in spanish that the evil come out of my heart in Jesus name. No, I needed the arms of God. So after I was finally able to escape from the front of the churhc where all this was happening, I sat in my chair and I clutched my bible like a little kid afraid of the dark. the man who had interpreted earlier for me come over and asked me if I was saved- and as I looked at him, I felt safe with him, he reminded me of my dad, like he actually kinda looks like my dad. SO I said, yes, I am saved, by the blood of Jesus, I am saved. He asked me if I beleived that I could loose my salvation and I said no. Grace is a gift from God that there is nothing I can to do earn it or loose it. He smiled and said Hallejuah. We began to talk there and he said that most churhces in Chile teach that if we don´t do enough, we loose our salvation. That the church in this country are not Bible based, but interpretation of a few verses and feeling based. He said that he was a prophet that God had called to deliever the truth to the people of Chile. To make a long story short, God answered my prayers. I found a chilean who truly loves the Lord and KNOWS His word. I found someone whose family, he has a wife and two daughter are living testimonies that God can bring truth to people. This mans name is Evan and he brought me to his house to meet his wife and two daughter and we went out to lunch. I cannot tell you my friends, what God did through this man in my heart. Even though Evan does not agree with much of what the church says, or how they force people to worship in a certain fashion, he beleives that God has called him there for a reason and he is a prophet there. I am not sure about me. I am not sure if I can be in a church that wants obedience, but I do not agree with them. I will not have them be an authority in my life. I am not sure if I should try to find another church. I am determined that I will study the Bible on my own accord, but I desire the fellowship and authority there was at Trinity. Anyways, please, my friends, pray for me because ti si a burden in my heart for now. I believe these people desire to know God, but they are not basing that knowledge from the Bible. Please, pray for wisdom.

And sorry this blog was so long, but it is something I truly need prayer for!

Comments

Anonymous said…
Wow!!! Becka!!! I am so going to pray for you!! I apologize, but I was chucking as I read this, because, man...what a faith tester! I can only imagine what I would do in that situation. After all of the conversations we've had on the topic of women pastors, and speaking in tongues, and slain in the spirit....I truly understand how difficult that must have been for you!! But praise the Lord, you did the right thing and His glory came from that! I'm so glad that you met Evan and that He is an encouragment. I will be praying that you find a church where you will be able to serve the Lord, and fellowship with other believers. (Oh, by the way...I've attended Trinity the last two weeks...love it) :) Well, thanks for all your prayers as well...I need your wisdom on something...so I'm going to send you an email. My prayer is that the Lord will go before you. Hey, check out my blogs on myspace..I read yours, you read mine. :) www.myspace.com/rachrathburn. I love you my wonderful friend!!

rach
Anonymous said…
We are praying for you in Santa Fe!

Love, The Hamners

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